Parent Teacher Conference 11/12

Okay so I need to give a little preface before we hop right into how the parent teacher conferences went. Jaylon is is second grade and this is his first year in New Jersey. His Teacher is a nice lady but we are not completely seeing eye to eye. A month or so ago is when most of the problem, as I see it, started. The children were learning how to write letters. They were permitted to write whomever they wished and Jaylon opted to write his father in Ohio. Jaylon comes home with an envelope with Mark's name on it with only the address missing and reports to me that his teacher was unable to find Mark's address on the internet!! I was outraged!! I mean Mark isn't on any of the children's paperwork and without even asking me or knowing what kind of man he was she was going to introduce communication with him? OMG!!
On to issue 2 : Jaylon is told that he is doing drugs because he uses a cough drop and that if he is sick he should stay home. The cough drops were left with the nurse per school policy and she was not permitting him to go to the nurses office to get one, she would instead give him a piece of candy. (wait.. Who authorized you to give my son sugar?) do not appreciate Jaylon being told that if he is sick he is not allowed to be at school. We are fighting hard enough to keep him interested and wanting to go. I feel like if a teacher feels that the student is ill then they should send the child to the nurse. I feel like if the nurse wants to give my child an excused absence and go against the recommendation of his physician then she should do so, but I do not have the ability to excuse my child from class when he does not have a doctors note, so if the doctor says he is able to go to school and he is not throwing up he is going to be there. Also, I felt it was only common sense that on the days that it is cold enough to see your breath that the kids would not be out in the weather. When Jaylon is already producing symptoms or a viral infection that could very well produce themselves into a much more severe cold with a little push that he should not go outdoors for recess. Perhaps again I am missing out an not aware of a school policy here, but I was pretty sure that the goal was to keep the students IN SCHOOL where they could learn.
Issue 3: Bribing my child to do what he should be doing. Bribery is not my choice method of encouraging a child and you may find that children that are not accustomed to being bribed to behave well will often respond negatively to it. Jaylon seems to be more focused on the prize than the actual behavior required to achieve said prize. I would prefer that he didn't bring home “sticky hands” and the likes of them as they leave dirty marks upon my walls and only become something that he and his siblings fight over. Wouldn't greater rewards for the children be certificates, awards and what not that would earn them privileges or things that could actually be of some use like a pencil or colored eraser, scented even! I encourage him at home to always be on good behavior because he never knows what is under way. Food, snacks, candy and annoying whistles and toys you throw are not my idea of rewards. If I need to provide rewards specifically for my child... yanno... Let me know!
Issue 4: There was an issue at the beginning of the year with some students from Jaylon's class being unkind to him. Typical.. I mean Jaylon is double their size so they assume he is stupid and they are frightened so it's easier for them to act as if they don't like him at all. Sarcasm and dry wit are totally wasted on my child, he assumes when you are speaking that you are being literal and that you would have no cause to jest with him. He is kind-hearted and moderately meek and non-aggressive, so it came as a bit of a shock to me when his teacher sent a note home explaining to me that he was "bullying" another child... Upon further inspection the child was a girl, and not just any girl... A girl that rides his bus, a girl that he smiles and laughs and talks to each morning. His teacher approached the situation as if Jaylon was being racist by not wanting her in his group ( I'M SO FN P-O'D ABOUT THIS) First off, as I mentioned.. Jaylon likes this girl and she is from our neighborhood - second nothing racist was said, and third... NO WAY MY SON COULD BE A RACIST... he is from a culturally diverse family set! PMTFO!! You assume it is an issue with racism since he is "white" and she is "black"??? WTF!!... It makes me wonder if she herself has issues with race.
Issue 5: Her command of the classroom. She lets the children do as they please and then wonders why she is having issues. I sat in on the class and it was pure chaos!!!! I wanted to hand her a bullet before her lunch break. She allows them to leave their desks and work in other parts of the classroom. She allows them to stand and jump and dance around in the middle of her speaking... WAIT!! NO WONDER MY SON HAS NO ATTENTION SPAN NOW!!
She allows them to work ahead when they are supposed to be working together as a class ... I mean I am no instructor but come on... How long does the boat have to take on water before you figure out that you are sinking?
On to the conference...
It was a whirlwind in which I took control and commanded her full attention. I politely outlined the issues that I was having with what was happening and I clearly stated the boundaries that I wanted to be kept. If I cannot be at the school every day to make sure of what my child is doing and point him in the right direction then I need her to be part of the team and stop trying to be their peer and actually meet the needs of the children and provide the only service that she is actually there to provide, forth wit being their instructor and mentor and teaching them the required coursework.
I illuminated to her the importance of maintaining an authoritative role with the children, especially mine. I do not want my child to be permitted to "slack" - he is there to learn and I assure you that if I was sitting beside him - you would see a different child altogether.
I am exasperated that I have to go to such lengths to get what I want from a school/teacher. Perhaps my expectations are too high... Perhaps other parents should expect more. The children are our future if we cheat them and deprive them of the use of manners, the importance of responsibility, the thirst for knowledge... We are only cheating ourselves.

Thank You Shop-rite employee

I generally hate going to do shopping of any type during the holiday season. The stores are crowded and full of people who are so focused on their tasks that they forget their manners or fore go them totally. Once when I was pregnant with my oldest son Jaylon, a woman hit me in the stomach with her shopping cart! She didn't even say excuse me or nothing, and I was 8 months pregnant... It's not like there was any way she couldn't have noticed.
So last evening we ventured out to Shop-Rite to get a few essential groceries and some items that I needed for the thanksgiving holiday, as I wanted to bake something to take to our family's house this Thursday. The store was bustling with customers which was evident before we even entered and much of the reason that Javier decided to drop Gavin and I off at the door and let he and Jaylon wait in the car. Gavin and I trekked through the isles and he was so polite and being so behaved (this is not his typical behavior in the store) The isles were congested and stockers were racing to restock items that were quickly being depleted. (nope they weren't giving away anything great! haha) we collected all of our items and remembered on the way to the register that we needed cereal and lunchmeats. I turned down the cereal isle and Gavin picked out some fruit loops and I picked corn flakes. He froze mid isles where the store had strategically placed a toy section and selected a blue toy car. I looked at him and told him "Come on son... We got to get luchmeat and get going". He raced to my side and asked me so sweetly for the toy. I didn't even know how much it cost, but it was surely overpriced and not what we came for and I simply did not have the extra money to purchase anything not on my list. He was breaking my heart as he put the item back and I talked to him a lot about it as we headed towards the deli.
It was no comfort for him to hear that he could ask Santa for it. I didn't want to hear that I couldn't afford to get it. He wasn't unreasonable about it, but he had real tears and sobbed quietly as he placed his head down on the cart. A Shop-Rite employee looks over to me and asks.. "What's the matter, what is it he wants?" I explained that he wanted a toy car from the cereal isle and that even tho I didn't know how much it cost, I couldn't afford to get things not on my list and that he would be fine. She paused for a minute and asked me if I would be offended if she bought the toy for him. I told her that wasn't necessary but she insisted.
She escorted Gavin to the cereal isle where he was reunited with the toy car that he had so cherished only moments before and then to the self-pay checkout where she purchased it put a paid sticker on it and returned him to me. He hugged her hard and thanked her and I fought back some tears. It reminded me of something my  Mother would do, and suddenly I missed her more than ever.
Some people are just nice for no reason.
She touched Gavin's heart in such a way that no words can express and some how I know he will never forget the kindness of that stranger.