I had waited for this vacation to come for 3 months now... the time when we first began to plan it with much excitement in our hearts and minds. I had dreamed about the day when I would be welcomed open arms to my, now husbands family, for over 18 years... sometimes it seems like a dream. I fight the urge to be less of myself and to hold back... because I don't want to seem fake or unrreal.. but then whey too many times in my life being me.. has been whey too much for anyone to bear. I think about all the people that I have interacted with in my life thus far and I begin to wonder when there all have went. It seems that radically we are an ever-evolving social species and that we discard people and cling to the ones that share our new direction in life?
I ended a 20 year friendship this year. I made a lot of changes. It was a labor to let go of her, and I spent a lot of time thinking about whether I should actually commit to it or not. I mean after all 20 years is a lot of time investment to just throw it all away like that. In the end I concluded that it must be done. She was constantly trying to drag my marriage over the coals because her own was suffering and she was a selfish friend. Looking back on the whole incident now.. I can't even think of why we were friends at all. She was the kind of person that would always one better you.. if you had 10, she had 12. If you liked it but couldn't afford it... she'd buy it just to dangle it in your face. ( I know right??)
So it brings me to the point where we are right now. I am o n vacation with my husband and tow children and we are visiting his mother and step-father and father's side of the family. We were received well even though I was very nervous and most of the time I have felt very at ease. It is easy to overlook minor indifference and I am trying to keep the peace and have a happy visit but seriously am I the only person that tallies that shit in my head and holds record of it ? It's like I can instantly recall it. Maybe that isn't a good thing.
Let me first say that it was a very long drive to come here especial the first week of July with no air conditioning in my husbands car. I thought before we ever made it here that I was going to die of heat exhaustion. It was horrible the minute that we would get something cold to drink we would suck it down and get freeze headaches.. but set it aside for even a couple minutes and it felt like it was on fire. You know that you are getting dehydrated when you drink a half gallon of water and don't have to pee!
The first couple days of being here went fairly smooth and without incident... but then yesterday was a fucking fiasco!! and that is an understatement. I have seen people have "episodes" before and I know all the stereotypes about morhter-in-laws, but holy cow! This lady flipped the FN script yesterday. All of the Aunts had gotten up early and went to pick berries and the men went over to fix this garden platform... I went with the men as I had no epi-pen with me and surely there would be bees at the berry patch. They returned a couple of hours later to the same location that we were at and they and lunch still followed. You could tell that her whole demeanor had changed. The car the children I had ridden over there in was now to be chauffered by her. I didn't think anything of it and I turned on my kindle and was tolerating all the pumps of the gas peddle and the sudden brakes. All I could think is "ugh, women drivers" but then I am a women and I can frickin drive very well... I ignored it mostly until she went off the road a couple of time and then I began to pay attention. She later ran over a median & nearly took out a mailbox.. I couldn't believe they let her on the road. UGH! When we got home it was obvious that she was completely annoyed with the children... even though they were being well behaved she was tripping out on them about the littlest of things. She had made a big deal about the volume of the television on 4 seperate occasions within a 10 minute period, when in fact the volume of the television had not changed at all. I began to feel mildly agitated and began recalling in my mind all the events of the previous couple of days and so I began to sigh a bit and make an attempt at calming myself before I blew my stack. Just then, my husband and his father arrive home and start talking about dinner for that night which they had planned would be pizza. My husband had suggested that we only orde pepperoni & cheese being as the children didn't like much on their pizza, it's more cost effective and that I really can't tolerate anything spicy. The woman goes on for like 30 minutes about how all they eat is the supreme pizza and in fact it is the only kind that they like and blah blah blah and orders a medium supreme for her & dad and a large pepperoni & cheese for the 4 of us( not near enough to even begin with) but get this... when the pizza arrives... what pizza does she eat>>???????????????? you guessed it.. Pepperoni & cheese. I thought I was going to burst I had to fucking leave the room.. she had instantly robbed me of my calm at that very moment. That was the stupidest shit I had ever seen in my life. My 6 yr old begins to cry because he is still hungry and there is not enough pizza UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - they boys could have killed a large pizza by themselves. I don't fucking get it. I can't wait for this trip to be over. I know that you take the good with the bad but F@@K!!!!! We are officially half way through... so I will catch you up when it's over and we are home safe again.... Did I mention that my husband is considering moving down here?... STAY TUNED
