Moving Down

Every time I step on the scale the number is going down. To many this alone would be a victory but I want to FEEL different. I want to feel stronger and slimmer and beautiful. Doesn't everyone?
I keep reminding myself that nothing happens over night and it's just going to take time to get to where I want to be. Being fit is not enough, I need to dump dead weight everywhere in my life and I am letting it be known that I am doing just that. I have already seemingly parted ways with friendships that have been unhealthy for years. People who freely took from me and gave little or nothing in return but sorrow and despair. I thought it would be heart-breaking but it's actually quite liberating every time.
I've been spending a lot of time cataloging and trying out new recipes that are healthier and tasty for the whole family, I'm trying to make a point to share them on my Facebook page and in the weight loss group that I am in. With any luck I will be able to put together a small cookbook before the year is out.
The weather is growing colder and I feel like I live under an electric blanket! My children complain that the house is hot, but I pay the bills and I am cold! The pumpkins have been carved, the trick or treating has ended and it's crazy but I am already thinking about Christmas. I will have to do so much rearranging to make room for my huge tree or I will have to break down and purchase a slimmer one. I feel like I have outgrown my space and I am ready for some new digs.
My oldest son has his first serious girlfriend. I can hardly believe where the time has gone. They've had a couple chaperoned fights and their first misunderstanding; so... dramatic! I forgot what turmoil and angst there is with being a teenager. His 14 year old girlfriend actually told me that I don't know what a heard life is! I was beside myself. I simply hung up the phone - it wouldn't be right to ruin her innocence by telling her the horror story that has been my life. Just because I look like I have it altogether doesn't mean that there isn't a tsunami raging beneath.
I think it's starting to sink in that time is getting away from me. I look at my children and it doesn't seem real that they have grown so much so quickly. Wasn't it just yesterday that I was cradling them in my arms and feeling drunk off their rhythmic breathing?
The winter months fill me with gloom. I have to work hard to stay distracted from all the death and cold outside until the rebirth of spring happens!