The Demoralization of Me

There are so many thoughts racing through my mind
so many things that fill my brain
the thoughts alone swim like rancid fish
in waters filled with plague
they twist
they turn
they fight
they swerve
they consume and own the real
they bite
they tear away
an unleash a poison
that fills me deep with fear
I am just a woman
phenominal
raw
and wholly devoted
creative
and deep
but your wicked words seep
and steal away
the sense of self
and release my rage
how can I be?
be a sweet little angel
a model citizen
a sister
a friend
a daughter
with perfect politeness
with divine innocence
when you scutinize
demoralize
and make me want to rip your eyes
from their prying sockets?
I want to smash
and smother your hate
your disgust
and intolerance
of the life that I've made
You don't even know me
only what you claim to see
so how do I look with
one eye open?
how would you like to bleed?
you pollute the world
with your ignorance
and lies
you judge
and setence me
yet I've committed no crimes
you fear
so you slander
and the words swim
back to me
and create
divide
and conquer
my tolerence
my peace
they leave me
stripped
and scarred
full of
hate and rage
do I dare to rise against thee?
you must not know my name.
you deem me worthless
empty
filthee
and mean
a succubus
a whore
who speads lies
and deceit
but I am strong
though I am fierce
you cannot beat me down
I will stand and fight you
not simply lay on the ground
I will rise
I will uncover
I will breathe
and live
and give
and grow
you think you know me
but do you
really know?