2-2-11

I wish I would have had some clue at the start of the day that things would go so horribly wrong. Today started much the same as any other day; awaken to the squall of the alarm clock only to find that school had already been canceled, my boyfriend was quick on his feet to tell my son to go back to bed and then hurried back to snuggle me off to sleep in the comfort of his arms... my most favored place to be.
The day set off without a hitch and we woke only a couple hours later to the soft creep of the dim morning light coming through our bedroom window. Jason and I both showered and got ready to face the day at hand; he pleasantly kissed me bunches and told me how beautiful I looked today and I thought to myself how wonderful is this man of mine. My boyfriend asked me if I just wanted to stay home or if I wanted to venture out into the weather to get the rest of the items that we were seeking for my son's Birthday which was only a couple of days away... I remember taking great notice to the fact that I was being asked and I couldn't place why the question stood out to me as something that I should take notice to... looking back now it's as if it were a sign of things to come... like I was playing a role in that crappy horror film Final Destination or like I was some wanton character in a choose your own adventure book of some unforeseen force. We opted to go out into the day and I recall hearing a radio DJ saying on the radio "why would you even go out in this weather if you didn't HAVE to"; hint number two I suppose. We were just sitting in the car mulling through traffic and had noted that we needed to check the bulb in the turn signal and that would would do it at our next destination since we had a replacement in the glove compartment of the car... and since the destination was only another 1/4 mile away that we should be fine until we got there... just then we see a Perry police officer in oncoming traffic, he did a u-turn and got behind us and subsequently decided to pull us over... GAME OVER... he had a warrant for failure to appear and he was driving on a suspended license... the officer placed both of us in the back of the car and called a tow truck for my vehicle... he then called Canton Police station to come and pick him up and asked me to call for a ride.... ARGHHHHHHHHH I am so effin frustrated! It seems that the simple decision to stay home could have avoided all of this... but he maintained that it was only a matter of time before they arrested him Anyways.... and that it was okay because now he would just be getting everything handled and not have to worry about it anymore. I hope that is true.
I am hoping that the judge will show mercy to him and not be so angry with him for not making it to court because I really need for him to be home and I know in my heart that any lesson that he needed to learn that it would seem that he already has. No punishment that the courts could give him for a misdemeanor charge could equal the amount of guilt he has expressed feeling for leaving me; especially while I was injured... I feel so terrible that he beats himself up about it, because I love him so much and the last thing I want to do is see him hurting.... and besides, I am just grateful to have him home - I feel so lost and less without him.
So here I sit - alone - waiting... I know now that the earliest that I will hear from him is tomorrow and the minutes are passing so slowly. I worry about him every minute that he is away from me - no one could love him like I love him... no one has his best interest at heart like I do and no one will go to the lengths to understand him like I do... I need him and he needs me - GIVE HIM BACK TO ME FOOKERS!