About Love

I have always had a lot of ideas about how relationships should be. I can't decide when I formally formed an opinion that was concrete about what I really need from a relationship but I think it would be safe to assume that it was gradually adjusted into the belief that I have today.
In the process of becomming this conclusion I have learned many things... and in an attempt to clear my head somehow I have decided to jot them down.

1. Love means many things to many people.
I think it is very important to discover for yourself what love means to you and to be very clear of what this defination is when you express to others that you love them. I have thought many times that it is quite the injustice to the lovers of the world that love can be so broad sprectrum that there is seemingly no scale to define the type, quality or level of love you are experiencing for someone. Simply put - when you tell someone that you love them - they essentailly take it in and apply it down the line in their emotional database to the preformed definition that they have in mind. I believe it is a more rare occurance then some might think for two people to truely see eye to eye on this matter, and thus the pureness of the emotion loses it's luster somewhere amidst unmet expectations and needs.

2. Love has many stages.
As best as I can figure there are some constants in love that feed into the equation of a relationship and it's how you essentially deal with each level indivudally and then attempt to fold those layers together that ultimately decides whether or not love will endure or simply crumble to dust.
a. the honeymoon phase - this is the intense I can't live without you love that wraps you up and makes you feel all gooey for someone
b. the meat stage - this is the part where things start being real and you are caused to search and examine the depth and level of your emotional commitment to someone.
c. make it or break it stage - the gloves have come off and adversity has found it's way into your life and your love will be tested.
d. the glue outcome - your bond is strong and your basic expectations from love are being met on both ends and you make the clear chioce to stick together no matter what
e. the candle wick outcome - expectations are not met and slowly it ebbs away at the fire that you had util the flame burns out completely. (sometimes you can rebuild and regroup and come out of things)

3. Love has conditions.
I must have heard a billion times in my life that I was loved unconditionally. But if that were really true there would be no need for resolve or goodbyes or fighting ever in a relationship. No one person that you loved would ever feel less or fall in a line of priorities but instead be lumped into this group with yourself where exceptions did not exist and you never had to say the word "me" or include a seperate entity from yourself in the relationship ever. Uncoditional love would never spawn the phrase... "I love you but..."
Uncoditional love would never coin the usage of "space", "time" or "I" phrases other that ones termed with affection or expressing devotion.

4. Love is powerful but makes you weak.
Love takes your power and empowers your partner. You are essentially letting them behind all your barriers and giving them the power to crush your very soul yet trusting in them and hoping with your whole heart that they won't use the power.